Pray to Stay Dead

A Novel By Mason James Cole

We were at Living Dead Media have the pleasure of checking out so many great novels and meeting with awesome authors it is hard to pick just one book that stands out above the rest. This is certainly one of those that I won't forget and let me tell you why this one is so bad ass.

Have Sex and Die

A Film Directed and Written  by James Peniata

A bunch of friends answer an advertisement in the newspaper and agree to participate in a social experiment. As soon as they arrive at the enormous mansion of Professor King Hung they discover they have fallen into a deadly trap. Alison Lykz is an undercover cop who is trying to find her missing brother Tiger. Alison teams up with the group of friends in order to fight through the night in order to survive or risk being turned into another one of professor Hungs psychotic experiments.

El Orfanato / The Orphanage

Foreign Cinema. It’s usually awesome, especially when it’s a horror movie. I haven’t seen a lot of foreign movies, I can’t say I’ve seen all or even most of them. But I have seen enough to make dogs bark at me when I walk down the street, thinking I’m a strange person with strange interests.

I know that this week’s movie isn’t necessarily “indie” but I don’t know many people who knew about this film. I feel that it’s because this is a foreign film and foreign films usually have their own section in a video store or site that is normally avoided by all but movie buffs and nerdy college kids (was that a stereotype? Yeah? Okay. )

I was initially going to say that this was hard to find, but after a trip to my local department stores I found many copies of this film on DVD.

Moving on.

This week I bring you “El Orfananto” (English translation: The Orphanage). The first movie directed by J.A. Bayona, written by Sergio G. Sanchez, with a production credit mentioning the great Gillermo del Toro you know what you’re in for. Fantastic horror, and possibly some childhood themes. I mean, with a name like The Orphanage that’s a given.

Here’s a poster to tide you over until the next paragraph.

^{_{I'll hold this baby while others reach out to me. Is that creepy?}}

I saw this movie with a girly friend of mine and to see a movie with friends is always a good way of judging just the draw the movie may have. Just sit in a movie theater and look at the audience, not the movie, and that will usually tell you how good the movie is. If you find yourself looking around, the movie is probably not that great. If you get lost in the movie, then the filmmakers did an excellent job.

This movie is of the latter camp. There are scenes in the movie where I had to go, “Wow, that was brilliantly done.” The gore wasn’t plenty, in fact there was only one memorable scene which featured a mangled body; and let me tell you that the make-up job was done exceptionally well.

If you understand Spanish you won’t have any trouble understanding the movie since the whole movie is in the language, and the translations at times are off or slightly dumbed down.

The movie is full of strange events and twists that’ll keep you asking questions and wondering just what the hell is going on. It’s a ghost movie, but that ghost element sneaks up on you. You don’t fully realize it’s a ghost film until about halfway in when the couple calls in a paranormal investigation team (ghosthunters style) to check out their house. I don’t care what reviewer didn’t get that scene, it was really well done.

The other scene that stood out in my head was when we first see the children. You know a scene is scary when you’re watching it and the person you’re watching it with is hiding either behind you or a pillow going: “Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit, oh shit!” in varying levels of pitch and tempo. And to be honest, I thought the kids were statues. They’re not. They’re real kids who I’m surprised stood extremely still. (Try getting kids to sit down for 30 seconds, you can't? Oh well...)

This movie did not disappoint me. I’ll tell you that. I usually make a crack about parts that made me go “REALLY!? REALLY!?” but this movie had none of those parts.

….okay I’ll tell you about one. The beach scene where the mom lets the boy run in the cave all by himself. Seriously, that’s some damn good parenting there. Not only that but when her son starts talking about hiding games and mysterious ghost kids, you know you’re watching a ghost movie. Or maybe a movie about some deliriously screwed up family.

The movie is free from an awful twist ending. So you can feel safe watching it. There’s no “she happens to have been imagining it all along.” And you can rest assured that you won’t remember you’re watching a haunting movie until the Ghosthunters-esque scene pops on your face like a facehugger from Alien.

^{_{Want to see my face?}}

The ending feels well thought out, and I honestly didn’t see it coming. I usually can tell where a story will go and this movie went: “HAH! BUTTSECKHS!” with the ending. Not to forget the beautifully composed third act. In my (opinion and) experience the third act of a movie is usually the best judge for just how good a writer or director is at executing an idea.

This movie did not fail me, I was impressed with how the director didn’t constantly throw it in your face that this is a ghost movie. If you didn’t already know that it was, sorry…I just spoiled like 50% of the movie for you. If you did, then you might be like me and forget. Then again, how can you not know by the cover? It gives it away.

All in all I give this movie a 9/10. I dock one point for bringing the sheriff who tries to ‘talk sense’ into the mother, and is basically just a plot device for getting the father out of the movie for the next few scenes. Plot devices that make me go…”what was the point of that?” take away from the overall entertainment factor, and as we all know, I rate movies based on how entertained I was. For about 5 minutes I was confuzzled. Yes, confuzzled.

The Brain Eaters Bible:

Sound Advice for the Newly Reanimated Zombie

by J.D. McGhoul with Pat Kilbane

If the zombie apocalypse ever happens this book is the book to have on hand if you're one of the undead.  It has all sorts of tips and answers for the recently departed and recently reanimated. Several of its tips are on how to best bag ya a "freshie" as the author calls us.  The book includes useful ideas on how to sneak up on us too. It  has a journalized account of the unlife of one of the first people to become among the "deadish" and his adventures stalking prey.

J.D McGhoul (ambulatory dead dude and author)

The Brain Eaters Bible is a witty, often ironic "how to" book for anyone interested in the zombie genre. It's also a highly original volume with an uncommon perspective. The storyteller or narrator is horrifically fascinating and offers gruesomely great advice. It's filled with plenty of sarcasm and is also filled with tidbits that will tend to creep out its living readers, so beware. This is highly entertaining book with large amounts of chuckles and terrors, both. It is also chock full of hilarious and and scary illustrations outlining the best way to corner a "freshie" and gobble his brain up.

Useful Weapons-Maybe?

There is an additional application for the IPad that is available from the Zentromedia website and ITunes store. The app features interactives and 3D models on how to ambush prey,  a model of the human skull( how to best get into it for the juicy brains) and animations about how the virus acts to infect the human body.  Its gory effects were created by Dean C. Jones (Deep Space Nine) to lend extra dimension to the experience.

ZENTROMEDIA WEBSITE

Brain Eaters Bible ITunes Application

A Really Scary Zombie Brain

A hardback version of this book is available from Amazon, Barnes and Noble, and Borders online booksellers.

PostMortem Pal???

About the Authors:

J.D. McGhoul: Is a very smart and incredibly dangerous zombie.  Watch out!

Pat Kilbane: Is a comedic actor whose credits include MAD-TV, Arli$$, Spin City,Seinfeld, and My Name is Earl. He has also been in Evolution Meet Dave, and Day of the Dead. He is no stranger to the zombie apocalypse.